If Only

Chorus if only I could have been there for you darling/I’d do it all again right by your side/if only I knew the mistakes that I was making/I would have never tried to try/think of me well/my pretty baby/I hate to have to see you cry/see you cry/I’ll take my leave/the ending is coming/it’s about that time to say goodbye V1 something ain’t right/yo/I can feel it in my bone structure/knives in my life/yeah they wanna cold cut ya/plunge it in/twist it round/take your liver out/but that ain’t sitting pretty with me/so I live in doubt/I need my liver/for the drinking that I use to douse/the problems I have/but now I ain’t getting you aroused/used to rock your fundamentals/make the bed shift/but now getting it up/it’s like a dead lift/crazy bored/and I f**k a lot on the side/you don’t know it but I guess it’s just a matter of time/how many texts can I delete before you stumble on/the one that reveals it all/shows you what’s been going on/I’m too p**sy to be the one to break it off/I think I love you still/sometimes/but maybe not/who knows/yo/this love ain’t even real/it’s just some residual s**t from how we used to feel/so sianora to the old days and memories/used to be a hurricane/now you ain’t a pleasant breeze/you ain’t a saint/despite how you paint yourself/I’m Dante/motherf**ker/I can make it hell/magma anger/molten in its manner/burn you up/with the most flammable of grammar/I wish you well/really that I do/probably coz I know/I’m more beautiful than you V2 flicker/flame/flicker/like a shadow in a broken mirror/the night time’s quiet now/and I can hope to hear ya/if I’m blind/you’re the conscience providing sight/Jimmeny by my side/trying to guide me right/I used to listen when you spoke love/now I don’t give a regurgitated f**k what you throw up/you that bulimic type/spewing up your own advice/I don’t wanna kiss you with that mouth/you alone tonight/there’s a drama in the air/and I can feel it too/the silent type/Chaplin/you gotta see the mood/cut the tension/looming in the air/if I didn’t own this house/I’d get the f**k up outta here/sail away/sail away/back to where the troubles of the world don’t exist/I’m alone/sail away/sail away/up and leave you there/where you stand/baby girl/I’d be gone/I used to have bones and a vertebrae/used to have convictions/girl/but you murdered it/used to be the one to make decisions in an instant/move on it/never think twice/and never flinching/now honestly/love/what’s stopping me?/look at me/look at us/this a f**king mockery/about time for us to leave this little colony/blow the spot like a bomb over Lockerby V3 symbiosis/with this cold fish/intertwining up our fates like a ghost stitch/serving up a slice of life as a cold dish/the heat is gone/baby/don’t know if you noticed/time’s a mistress I distrust/and here I am/waiting on you to give it up like a tip cup/Mr. Apathy/but that ain’t happening/something like bad skin/but then I get proactive and/start moving in a different direction/cutting off your head/like the horse and the headman/what’s keeping me?/yeah/keep seeing these red/red flags/like the people of the C.P.C/I’m like a bull with a tampon dangling/in front of me/no matter where I go/it keeps happening/you keep being in my rear-view/puckering/blowing me kisses/on some “sufferin’ suckotashes”/roll the ashes/and light up the memories/incinerate her like I’m burning up an effigy/tah tah to my ex-future-baby-mama/sianora/baby/I don’t want that kinda drama/some Kenneth Branagh/some Edgar Alan-Poe s**t/morbid/would have been my life if I chose this/so I choose not/call me space-tracks/making footprints/I can never take back