Wide Eyed

Guiding her into dream time Following lights in her eyes This living behind's got her frightened So I'm here and I'm working all night How is she not breaking down? Oh God I feel her shaking Try as I might to provide her light In the end it's she who's breaking I'm holding the choice as she grows life from it's stem Is it better to say not now when I'm trying learn: yes? I'm dreaming of bouncing feet and your motherly smile But when you're sleeping so far away I can't feel what's inside How am I still holding on? Oh God I hope I am holding She'll try and describe what my strength provides but I fear my strength is failing If I could change my mind I would change What's the change for the better For a child who learns not to cry? And to the boy who relies on his anger: You'll survive but you won't feel exchange And why all these doubts? And what are all these doubts? I see in her eyes that I'm holding her fine but all I'm hearing is doubts Even as water's crushing over my head And the rhythm that I would slow is picking up it's pace I'm learning from older shames as I'm watching them die And I'm still hoping to see her smile in the morning when we wake Now that I am waking up Oh God I hope I am waking Though I'm overwhelmed at times I find that I'm less afraid of change Change all the time I'm still finding what's sure And not getting lost in my mind I know I can try Needing my own But still Getting lost in her eyes And hoping it's time Wide eyed I get wide eyed