Emmanuel

[Verse 1] It's so hard to say, "I'm sorry," it's so hard to self reflect Make the world a better place, I put a bullet in my head I'm still running outta friends, steady running from the past Ain't no lil' piece of heaven, all these demons that I have I am broken, I am tired, I am lonely and depressed I am made up of mistakes, I'll start going down the list I'm a product of my father, I'm an addict like my sister I'm so sick, I need a doctor Spent some time in institutions back at home with my mama Had to run away to Houston Had a girl, she was a goddess, I fucked up and had to lose her I see darkness all around me, put my soul into the music I am always fucking doubting my every single movement I saw violence in my home, I seen shit I can't forget I got anxieties and tendencies and memories repressed Rip this shit up off my chest, put these bullets in a clip Press the muzzle to my face and pull the trigger, now I'm— It's so hard to end it all, I wanna try to make it right It's so hard to live at all, all these obstacles in life Make it hard for us all, made a fuck-up of my life I'll give anything at all to take back a little time [Verse 2] I'm a beast, I'm a dawg, I'm a runaway slave I'm like Malcolm, I'm like Martin bein' locked in a cage Tell Jesus, "Come and save me, I got goals and a pager" Misdemeanors on the papers, El Dorados on the Daytons See me float above the pavement I'm a fuckin' mental patient, that's my fuckin' mission statement I've been sittin', waitin' patient I can hear what niggas sayin', send me curses, see me prayin' I can sell a blunt to Satan, all these trenches that I lay in All this chaos that I stay in, see my fate and know it's waitin' This a new beginning, call me Jesus, king of niggas My sermon is delivered, rollin' swishers, writin' scriptures Many pains and many issues, this my written crucifixion I'ma sing a song of David, I remember Wayne and Baby I done seen them niggas leakin' Screamin', "Jesus, come and save me" I don't know if I'ma make it, I just know that life ain't easy Gettin' harder while I'm breathin', niggas die inside of Beamers They don't even need a reason, guns clappin', get to squeezin' Niggas killin', it ain't easy, rent due and it ain't easy Call his name but he ain't breathin', momma cryin', it ain't easy Hard times, it ain't easy It ain't easy