One Of Four (Thank You)

One of four My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz I was born in 1-9-7-6, at Syosset hospital, located in Long Island, NY I am 6 foot 4, I weigh 2-0-0 pounds I have brown hair and green eyes I enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner food I have two brothers, Chris and Graham And two parents, Paul and Jameija In august of 2-0-0-1 I went crazy.. This was originally not for public consumption This was made for four people... four people that literally saved my life They know who they are.. And, uh... I mean, I could live to be a thousand years old and never re-pay them I don't think this song would pay for them But hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further.. This ain't a burner for the whips (no it isn't) This ain't even Aesop Rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn't) My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz and I was born in Long Island, New York Seventy Six, before Graham and after Chris... OK In August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof brain bone scaffolding imploded I kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling To the cold hard concrete on near bodega trips For cigarettes and soda, shook me to the casper Dizzy with a nausea chaser, motor sensory eraser Gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangements Rose rapidly outta bog I'd never fished in That abates three separate foreign men's While I seems to hook lines and syncro simple fishing Simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body But the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi So now it's one fish belly up, through medicated mileage Shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence And, I'd be lying if I said all of this Made even the slightest fragment of sense to me That's frail... Simply put I don't know what happened, or what's still happening I literally feel like I'm teetering on the blunt edge of my sanity JAIME, I killed the robots and I'm sorry Broke down in front of you, embarrassed But you lent a heart and hand that only you could You're one of my best friends and yes I'd take that bullet for you That's my word, which is about all I have left TONY, I know you know I'm crazy, cause you told me But that did never bother you, I hold you as my brother 'til death And I got your back if ever the drunk goblin step For makin' a cat laugh, when I was walking with the dead KATHRYN, mother figure, older sister, concerned be a limits Letting me know I wasn't the only one with this Continuous offers for vacation, Chicago visits Talked me through repair of a head full of broken pistons RAIA, for the late night movie rentals and the company I needed An' you knew it, but I just wouldn't admit it You listened to me blab about my issues for hours Offer incredible advice, gave me a hug when I was finished Am I a jack of all trades? No... I like to write songs though Are they good? I dunno.. But I could tell you that I only write shit down when I believe it So take this how you want, but know I mean it I want you all to know that I'm scared Now my fuckin' crooked soul never faced a monster like the last few months Ever in my whole life... I wish I could explain this better (I can't) But the pieces won't formulate it to anything even close to cohesive So I guess this is my feeble way to thank you Four soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindness I owe you all my life and please don't argue with that statement Cause without y'all I may not have a life to offer, take it Thank you I wish I could explain this better. (Thank you) I'm sorry for burdening your pleasures. (Thank you) I love you all with all that's left of me. (Thank you) For helping try to kill what made a mess of me. (Thank you) Somehow, someway. (Thank you) I'mma get you back someday. (Thank you) Just gotta figure this all out... So.. I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures Other men operate normally under I have scoped this out from all angles, walking through time I have been over everything in my head, 'till I can't think anymore But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there To breathe for you I am lucky enough to have those people around me Thank you for helping me to not die Thank you for helping me to not die Pocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt Cockpit full of memories and a dream full of guilt