Holy Smokes

[Intro: Various Samples] [Give him one of these pills if he has any pain] [A parable....What is it? Well it's a little story with a lot of truth An earthly story with a heavenly meaning Jesus told many parables to grown-ups and children alike He told them simply and sincerely, in words everyone could understand So that all might learn the lesson he was trying to teach...] [Yeah!] [Verse Intro: Aesop Rock] They were selfish with the helmets on the little bus 'Till brake fluid sewage crippled up the get-retorted nickel punks Slowly cope but swore his lowly robot vole evoke Would one day rise in sections to interrogate the Holy Ghost [I knew it!] [Verse: Aesop Rock] Holy smokes! Father, black suit white collar Kiddie porn dungeon, guns, and three fingers for your daughter's Caught belly-up, antique Nazi paraphernalia You cannot pay your bills with holy water and Hail Mary luck [Oh my!] Shucks fucker, enjoy the Alcatraz shower fun And mommy's mad I'm cliche generation X agnostic front It ain't the nifty fate, the 1958, before the New-New Testament-approved Altar-boy fisting rape And "take me to your leader" Long as he don't manipulate toddler beaver [Leave him alone!] Call me crazy, but I bet that wasn't God's demeanor Sodom-meter peaking [Me too!] But Long Island was Jesus every weekend Spoon-fed to appease traditional love bringing Of a Middle Pennsylvania shit-hole where elders movement Stressed the stellar therapeutic Bible cycle (How?) One church with a bait and tackle store next door and not much MORE So the two moved to New York, made babies raised on what they SAW Christmas morning smelled fresher than angel pussy But immaculate conception came second to playful goodies Like laser-tag was way more spiritual than blood and body wafer bags And manger staff as long as Santa ate the cookies [Well...] Grandma was a saint, while he'd paint with snakes and bullies Said If only you'd memorized your prayers like you did your Kool Gs! By the time I was old enough to know what religion was I was Catholicism-numb and truly didn't give a [FUCK!] '94: Moved out the crib and it ain't seen a steeple since What Knievel-evil seeps in a Christian leader's pitch 'Till priests' laps slapped with parental advisory warnings I'll be auditioning Gods in my office on Monday morning [Hook: Various Samples & Aesop Rock] [Yeah!] {Scratched throughout chorus} Uh oh! And yet another pill slipped Down the hatch and pass 'em through the kill-switch I need a couple A's for Q's I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused [Interlude: Sampled] [This story reminds us of the one Jesus told about people who were kind and Helpful to others. He said that one day the king would say to these people: 'Come. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food. When I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me.' But the people asked, when Lord did we see you hungry and feed you? Or sick or in prison and come to you? and the king answered: 'In as much as you have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren You have done it unto me.'] [Yeah!] [Hook: Aesop Rock] Just a little bruise in the back of the pews Acting amused with a mask and them Vatican blues For in the eyes of the organization I was raised in Aes' is just another cynic-brick in Hell's basement Cubicle adjacent to the killers and rapists For what? Drugs and fucking, It's part of growing up Like cuffs over dumb shits is better than the schools I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused Just a lit fuse in the back of the pews Watching a thousand flavors of the same God feud I figure ultimate-peace is the common theme So its a no-brainer "peace" when the blood hit the screen Got a basic good and evil sensibility born Good neighbor know a halo when it's fit over horns I'm more science than faith, I'm more karma than bread and booze I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused Not an asshole I'm just a little confused Not an asshole I'm just a little confused Not an asshole I'm just a little confused (You know what? To be completely honest, Aesop, you're a fucking asshole)