West Covina

[REBECCA BUNCH] West Covina! California!   In my soul I feel a fire, 'cause I am heading for the pride of the inland empire! My life's about to change -- oh my gosh! 'Cause I'm hopelessly, desperately in love with...West Covina!!   musical interlude   spoken Good morning, sir!   See the sparkle off the concrete ground. Hear the whoosh of the bustling town. What a feeling of love in my gut -- I'm going faster than the middle school's music program was cut. People dine at Chez Applebee.   [ADVERTISEMENT BACK-UP SINGER] Aaaahhhh!   [REBECCA BUNCH] And the sky seems to smile at me!   [ADVERTISEMENT BACK-UP SINGER 2] Aaaahhhh!   [REBECCA BUNCH] It's all new, but I have no fear...   [ADVERTISEMENT BACK-UP SINGER 3] spoken ¡Accidentes!   [REBECCA BUNCH] And also by coincidence, Josh...just happens to be here!   What a cool-looking anime wig...! ...and I've never seen a pretzel this big! It's my destiny that much is clear...   [ANNOUNCER VOICE] spoken Please welcome, Destiny!   [REBECCA BUNCH] ...and also this guy Josh just happens to be here! Is he here? He's not here.   To be clear, I did't move here for Josh, I just needed a change 'cause to move here for Josh, now that'd be strange but don't get me wrong, if he asked for a date, I would totally be like, that sounds great! Did it sound cool when I said "that sounds great"? Ok, how about now: "that sounds great" Yes, I heard of West Covina from Josh, but I didn't move here because of Josh -- do you get those things are different??   [DELIVERY GUY] spoken No habla ingles.   [REBECCA BUNCH] ¿Entiendes que son diferentes? Look everyone, stop giving me the shakedown. I am not having a nervous...   strip club music interrupts   West Covina! California! West Covina! California!   Hear the band playing in my heart! My new life is about to start! True happiness is so neeeaaar!!   spoken Aw, you guys are good. Bye, bye.   [EXECUTIVES] spoken Sorry kids, budget cuts. No tuba, any horn. Give that back. Nice dress.   [REBECCA BUNCH (AND ENSEMBLE)] And also by coincidence, so random, just by chance, who'd'a thunk it, so remarkable, and weird, right? It's so great! That this guy, Josh, just happens to be...HERE!!!!   [REBECCA BUNCH] spoken Only two hours from the beach!