Stan The Man

Born in nineteen thirty-five in Brooklyn, NY Son of Anna and Phil At nineteen years old he married my mother Judy And immediately paid his first Bloomingdale's bill Right away they started on a family Three smart kids popped out of mom's tummy But then one steamy* night dad forgot to wear his raincoat Nine months later out came the dummy But he took care of me Oh, 'Stan the Man' was my hero The coolest guy ever, I swear He stayed up all night making me a clay volcano That's how I won the science fair He was 6'2, 200 and 50 lbs And as sweet as he was strong He was also known to be pretty well endowed But believe me he didn't pass that one along His fav'rite singers were Leo Redbone and Johny Cash His favorite ball players were Koufax and Mickey His favorite restaurant was the state's delicatessen His favorite movie was 'Little Nicky' Sorry 'Godfather I and II' Maybe next time Yeah, 'Stan the Man' was my hero With a golf swing that made me cry He'd take their money and put it in his top dresser drawer Then I'd steal it so I could get high... But he ... beat that habit ... out of me So dad Thanks for letting me stay up late to watch Johny Carson Thanks for coaching all our games in Livingston Park Thanks for telling me to always punch a kid in the face If he made an anti-Semitic remark Yeah, and don't worry 'bout mom We'll always look after her Me, Scott, Val, Liz, and the grandkids And when Jacky and I have children of our own We'll try to raise them just the way you did So say 'hi' to both my grandmas and grandpas Tell my dog, Meatball, I miss him so But most important, take advantage of being in heaven And go bang Marylin Monroe Mom said it's cool ... just wear a raincoat Oh, 'Stan the Man' was my hero Still is and always will be Cause he didn't give too much crap about nothin' Except loving his family Well 'Stan the Man' is gone* But will always live on*