The Problem With Saints

I wish that Joan of Arc wouldn’t hang around the park Pronouncing that she won’t get burned again Her armour’s very shiny and her message is divine But I wish she’d take a day off now and then She said it clears your head when you come back from the dead With your sword as sharp as anything that cuts And to prove it she bisected three young tourists from Utrecht Which rapidly displayed a lot of guts She says we need to Raise a brand new army And the flag of France So proudly she unfurled And the people that She hated will be neatly bifurcated And the British will No longer rule the world (She says) it was a mistake to let them burn her at the stake And she learned a lesson back there in the flames So she’s going to kill the queen and then she’ll rescue Old Orleans And it’s really hard to hang around with saints I think I ought to tell her that the English left in failure And they don’t go back to France except on hols But I saw her vivisect a man who wanted to correct her -- And the playground soon resembled grand guignol She says we need to Raise a brand new army And she marched us Round until we couldn’t stand She says the nation She abhors will soon be writhing on the floor And the British will No longer rule her land And she’s waiting for the dauphin who will come across the ocean And knows that God agrees with her complaints So I’m hoping that she’ll ignore my English accent in her war ‘Cause it’s really hard to hang around with saints She says we need to Raise a brand new army And the flag of France So proudly she unfurled And the people that She hated will be neatly bifurcated And the British will No longer rule The British will no longer rule The British will no longer rule the World!